Over the years I’ve had numerous male friends ask me about fashion in hushed tones.  Ten years ago there were considerably less publications on the topic and it was difficult to point them in one direction.  Now that there are tons of great male fashion blogs you would think my role as gentleman stylist would be over but there’s something missing from all these publications.


I like men’s fashion because I’m interested in power dynamics.  I write about men’s fashion because there is no shortage of readers.  Men do crazy desperate things to impress and attract women.  I got an email this morning trying to sell me pills that will make me ejaculate a larger volume to impress women.


And in the same way I often want to lean over and whisper, “if you hit the gym a little more often you wouldn’t have to try so hard to convince everyone that men are bastards,” to some ladies, I feel the menfolk could use some fashion advice.


If you’re yelling and screaming about the friend zone, might I recommend not looking like a slob.  You’re not in the friendzone because you’re too nice.  Women aren’t fucking you because you’re not attractive.  Become more attractive.  How you dress contributes to that.


We often see our partners as an extension of ourselves and are embarrassed to date mediocre mates because of what it says about ourselves.  Dating a model is a great way to show all those jerks who picked on you in high school how far you’ve come.  It’s not just about your personal preferences but your social circle when it comes to attraction.


Let’s imagine that you are a middle-aged housewife whose husband has just left you for his secretary.  You’ve put some pounds on over the years.  You’re exhausted and you feel rotten at this point.  You may feel embarrassed to have been passed over.  Now imagine if you immediately started dating some hot movie star like Ryan Gosling.


Dating that movie star wouldn’t feel good just because you get to bang someone who’s really attractive.  It would be a middle finger to that ex-husband who betrayed you.  It would make you the envy of all your friends.  It would increase your social status even with strangers.  It would feel really good for reasons that have nothing to do with how attracted to or happy you are with your new boyfriend.


Everyone understands this principle when you make it outrageous but it gets lost when you’re talking about small-scale victories.  Dressing really well makes you more impressive and regardless of your other traits, it’s going to make you a higher status mate.


It doesn’t matter who you are, having a mate that you can “show-off” feels really good.  It soothes a lot of insecurities that we all have and it makes you feel like you won something.


Fashion is one of those status markers that make you more impressive.  It draws people to you and makes them curious about you.  This becomes very apparent when someone wears something that’s “inappropriate” and we become pissy about it because we think they’re trying to con us into believing they are something that they’re not.


I hear no end to people complaining about teenagers in punk or goth outfits trying to pretend they’re rebels or making a statement.  Those kids could just like leather jackets.  But they caught your attention and some people get angry because they don’t think those teenagers deserve special attention for having a mohawk.  That mohawk is phoney!  You are attracting attention that is above your perceived status and I want to enforce your lower social position so I will call you a “poser.”


You are a young man wearing a fedora and you do not belong to the group of people I associate that hat with so I will make fun of you.  You’re a woman wearing a trendy outfit but I think you’re too old to be trendy and cool so I will degrade you.  We strongly enforce the idea of status when someone dresses in a way that doesn’t agree with the status we associate with them.


And then turn around and deny that fashion gives someone status because we’re so post-modern.  “I don’t care about fashion,” is the most ridiculous lie I have ever heard.


That’s why I write about men’s fashion and the cultural implications that go along with it.  This concerns you and you haven’t noticed.