Whiskey and Wallets
Posted on January 23, 2013
I’m a boozehound. I don’t drink cheap booze. Who do you think I am?! I sit perched in the Hollywood Hills all day teaching young boys on the internet how to exploit classism through cufflinks.
My favorite place to drink is Carthay Circle. It’s a 30’s themed bar inside Disneyland’s California Adventure. They serve “classic cocktails” which is great because I look down my nose at fruity drinks with umbrellas…and you know, most things because I’m a huge intolerable snob (Read: foodie).
I met up with Zoe, last Monday, at Disneyland to make unkind remarks about tourists and drink our weight in Whiskey. I like to think we met both of our goals because we’re go-getters.
Zoe happens to write a blog dedicated to the great task of getting sloshed at Carthay Circle and posting terrible pictures of his companions (read: me) while they drink too much. (http://www.drinkingcarthay.com/) You should read it because he seamlessly interweaves witty banter, facts about Walt Disney, and drunken hilarity in to a tight little package of better than you. Also, I have amazing taste in friends.
I believe we were several drinks in when I convinced Zoe that every day carry blogs were the end all be all of cool and he need to do two things for me. 1) Empty out his wallet on the bar and let me photograph and document it and 2) let me retie his scarf. I’m super fun at parties.
See, he didn’t have the good sense to blindly follow the infinity scarf trend like I did, so something needed to be done to spruce up the knot.
So here’s Zoe’s wallet.
I blurred out Zoe’s awful Driver’s License photo because I’m a good friend. Go take a look at the honorary Jabba the Hut photo he has of me right at the top of his most recent blog.
Disneyland Annual Pass
Fresh and Easy Rewards Card
Health Insurance Card
A handwritten note that’s been in his wallet since he’s known me. It directs someone to call his friend Kim so that if he’s hurt or dead his cats get fed.
Gas Card from work. As a perk, sometimes Zoe only pays the tax on his petrol.
LACMA Membership Card acquired during the Tim Burton Exhibit.
AAA Membership card long expired but still active. It’s on a friend’s policy.
Costco Card. A Christmas Gift.
Posh Grocery Store in La Jolla I like to get an espresso at after sushi at Ki.
Lens Cleaners. They may be wearing down the scotch guard and doing more harm than good at this point.
Navy Federal Cash Rewards Credit Card
And there you have it. Someone
got suckered into was kind enough to support my EDC addiction. He even had a pocket knife on him but I’m glad he forgot because that was neither the sober nor the place for weaponry.